Journeyman

Tens of summers
learning at the feet
of renaissance masters
and mistresses
and I know for certain
only that
this journeyman heart
still has understanding
of neither the emotion
nor the artifice
nor the art
I need to match
the memory.
Long after I thought
this yearning search
would be safely past,
when I would surely be done
earning the skill
I still wonder
what I've missed,
as I draw
endless flawed studies
gesso new canvas
mix new pigments
buy better brushes
and purer turpentine
tear fresh rags
no closer, really
to knowing how
to paint that famous half-smile.